My dog Percy is generally a happy-go-lucky dog. However, he is prone to fits of great depression if I leave him and acts out in the only way he knows how: by trying to kill himself.
The day after the San Diego Marathon. Percy was clearly upset I had left him the previous day and proceeded to wolf down an entire plate of double fudge brownies with white chocolate chips that had been a present from Jodie. I don't think he felt great for a few days but it apperntly did not have the desired effect of Death by Chocolate.
Next came retaliation for not taking him on a long enough walk one morning. I had gotten a cooked chicken from Ralph's the night before and threw everything away in the trash can. Percy took everything out the trash can the next day and ate the remainder of the chicken, including all bones. I thought he would surely succeed this time, but alas, it turns out roasted chicken isn't nearly as bad for dogs as fried chicken. Again, he paid the price for a few days (and so did my patio), but he survived.
Percy's latest attempt came from leaving him Labor Day weekend to go to Austin. He was extra upset this time as Austin is one of his favorite places and I didn't take him. I came home yesterday afternoon to find that he had eaten: 2 packs of Gu, 1 Cliff bar, 1 Cliff Shot, 1 package of Shot Blocks, 4 suckers and 1 package of Wheat Thins. Agai
n Percy failed. He has been hopped up on calories and caffine but still alive and kicking.
I have now purchased a trash can with a lid and will be extra vigilant for suicide attempts from now on. Perhaps a yard would help...
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